It was a Monday in every possible way today.
I'm a puzzle addict. Love these things.
I don't think it's possible for me to just sit still, I'm always multitasking. But today, I was in full procrastinator mode. It was awful. Like I needed time to pause/reflect and yet couldn't escape in order to do so. My schedule was switched up and I found myself with unusual gaps in time. The computer software and the building's wifi went down for awhile - somehow that led to wrong information on the group chats. I had to spend so much time secondguessing myself. It almost felt like my own mind was trying to gaslight me. Sometimes I like to lean into that for deep writing practice but not while at work.
Ah but I survived and am now here, with nothing to say. It's funny how I had so many things float through the day but yet exhaustion kicked in and writing is almost the last thing I want to do. Scrolling through SM would be the last thing - just awful out there. I tried.
Tonight I find myself wondering why someone cannot just delete it all. I miss the days before SM. I'm old enough to remember electronic quiet. One of my favorite fantasies - to wake up and it all be gone. The great reset. Honestly I'm starting to wonder if this might 'accidentally' happen now with so many unauthorized people and friends currently allowed special privileges in our government. >That's sarcasm. I'm joking. Okay I'm half joking. Shit's getting weird.
I love journaling. I love the idea of regular people writing their lives - I think about the billions of people going about their day, how their stories never get told. I know for me, I would have loved the inner thought process people throughout history faced. Sure, some things are obvious - like morals and life process but what about critical decisions that truly shaped them?
If I can't write about these unusual protocol breaches - what is the point of journaling?
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