6/20/2025. #109

I didn't realize I needed to. That's complicated but under the culture pressure I grew up in, it was heavily discouraged to be someone who created a disturbance or problems for others. Obviously I questioned that logic often but there is also the survival reality to consider. Sometimes there is wisdom in 'going with the flow' of those around you and not being obnoxious in order to get through the day. I see that now as an adult but ultimately self awareness and critical thinking is needed.

I was seven when I first stood up for myself and by that, I fought back. It was the beginning a long self esteem battle. I didn't question myself or actions. I questioned my disappointment in others and how they let me down. I refused to blame myself and looking back - that was a good thing. It kept my self esteem in check as I faced depression, loneliness and grief as a child - which I wrote about earlier.

Standing up for myself led to it being easy for me to stand up for my children on their medical and life journey as well. My background? I was well prepared for that kind of challenge. And sometimes I sit back and wonder - looking at it all, how did so many of those pieces fall into place?