I've been awake since 4AM - had such a long day I cannot even write of it. Also faced significant PTSD activation from the kid's doctor appointment and severe time crunches. It was such beautiful weather, kind of overrode all those other factors. Or maybe it was due to being around so many incredible behavior technicians. I worked with friends and equals all day. Over the years I drove myself insane, caregiving the kids by myself. I found what I wanted more than anything else - skilled team caregiving.
I'm having a decent recovery, still this note will be short. Learned some hard things at the appointment - mostly the time frame to get the kids' a psychology assessment appointment will take months. Current guess is 6 months. I didn't have time to make phone calls and get the ball rolling. But honestly considering my previous experience with securing a psych appointment - feels about right. I am someone who actually had a psych breakdown and at that time, I was pretty much laughed out of existence as they suggested I wait for an open availability - weeks. I wasn't suicidal or in desperate hospital need - although it sure felt like it, yet I was married back then and it wasn't completely up to me. That was in 2020. I doubt things have changed. Probably only got worse. The fact that access to disability assistance is dependent on being routed through this narrow path? Concerning.
I guess if it's going to take that long to get an appointment, I should have more PTO banked by then. I'm trying to stay positive. I was already supposed to have this process done so I'm going to be sitting through multiple IEP's and transition meetings without completing this part of the obstacle course and that will be personally embarrassing. Ah, well - I've been embarrassed so much, so far on this journey, what's a few more events?
It was also kind of awkward trying to explain to this doctor why other doctors are refusing to operate on Jake's cataract. I hate being put into those kinds of positions. Nothing about that open situation is pleasant to think about, much less talk about but to add in conversation defining the profitable deficiencies of our medical infrastructure - idk. I somehow found peace knowing that some doctors have the choice to not provide high quality medical care to those with disabilities. It's hard for others to realize that happens. Most days I wish I had that kind of naivety back too.
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