8/06/2025.

Well I made it through the day. End of summer caregiver burnout is creeping up on me again. I have way too many things to do and no way to do them. For example, buying the kid's clothes and school shopping. My kids do not like clothes shopping and I have no time to go by myself. So I'm now in a loop where it's not getting done. It's unpleasant. I'm a highly disciplined procrastinator. I can calculate that I let it go too far. Worse, I've slid into acceptance and busy stores with frantic people is not a motivator to make it happen.

9/11.

I was a senior in high school when it occurred. I was already a full time working adult, even as a teenager in school - so my perspective was much different than my classmates as I lived through the split from both a child/adult community shock view. For one, I had half days so I was one of the first out of school that day. My dad worked at Boeing. He was home already and immediately was like "I'm going to go get gas in your car for you." He did. He knew I had to go to work.

Within months he'd be laid off. Life collapsed for certain segments of our population faster than others. And then forgotten. Wichita is the Air Capital of the world - major aircraft manufacturing center - it was devastating here. Idk, I look back and I wonder, could economic devastation had been better managed? I didn't know about politics back then. I was only 18.

Yeah, I'm from a family with an intense work ethic - even while 9/11 was occurring - my dad was like, "you can't miss work." Not that I would have wanted to. I'm a workaholic. I was working at Best Buy as an appliance salesperson. We didn't have any customers that night. the employees watched it all on - idk, about a 100 TV's. Back then about half the store was of TV's and music. Appliances were back in the small forgotten corner, next to the car stereos.

To this day, I think back to that night - all those screens, different channels. All playing at once - it was so surreal. Not something I can forget beyond the actual event. All sizes of screens. Everywhere I turned, news footage. It was so solemn too, the employees reaction. I worked at a Best Buy where across the highway - there is a major airport. The front of our store was nothing but clear glass windows. We stood up front and just stared out.

The effects of that event destroyed my generation. As an elder millennial, idk - I was immediately touched. My life took an entirely different path, one blow after another. Fate intervened and that's hard to describe. Yet it's getting late or else I'd try.