8/02/2025.

Great day! Found time this morning for a long run. Other than the smoky wildfires blowing in from Canada - which honestly gave everything a surreal haze, it was beautiful. The temperatures were in the 60's. Yes, 60's in August! I had to take advantage of those conditions. That's like my ideal running weather. I very much prefer to run in the cold vs heat.

I did 5 miles today.

The lakes and rivers are still high. Lots of debris from the storms too.

Okay on to the daily writing prompt. This one feels very similar to the one from yesterday. I used a random generator, so I guess that's bound to happen sometimes.

I've had a lot of anxiety throughout my life - I'm pretty sure this could refer anything. lol

Life is a learning process. I'm constantly learning something or maybe I'm just been humbled more than most given my life circumstances. One thing though, I'm very good at emotional moderation and channeling disappointment. All emotions really.

I'm writing these prompts in the moment. Daily. I'm trying to think of something in my life that stands out. Good or bad. I'm coming up blank. And no, I'm not that good at guessing, although my premonition is pretty high. There's been a lot of situations I've walked into that's turned out exactly like I thought it would, which was really odd. Maybe I should write about them. But that's not the prompt.

I'm trying to think of something shocking and/or life changing. There were some really painful ones. Like not being able to lease an apartment after the divorce. As a stay at home mom, I didn't have a work history. So many doors closed to me. Didn't see that coming. People. Attitudes. Opportunities. Respect. Gone.

However if you're already in a failing marriage and they don't want to lose you - it's difficult on the way out. People ask all the time but don't really know. There isn't the freedom to go to work or change. Additional obstacles exist. It's not a healthy situation. That's why a divorce occurred. It's a bit more traditional here in Kansas. More pressure. Less understanding.

What I've learned? Divorce is practically a given for parenting disability. Yet I know couples who grew stronger through the journey - it's now why I'm divorced. I've seen how much care/understanding they have for each other and kids. Everyone deserves that. Even me.

What else because that was kind of heavy. I'm going to look through my photos, see if anything reminds me of sweet/happy/light. Pleasant. I feel strongly about balance. I've had many highs/lows in life. Media distorts emotions. It's annoying and a personal quest for me to address because it''s easy to tip into hyper dramatic extremism as a writer. When your real life becomes more unbelievable than fiction? It's a unique challenge. I don't have to make things up - my life is filled with enough chaos rarity. And yes, it's extreme. Parenting two micro-preemies is extreme. Parenting two blind children is extreme.

And even just writing that last sentence I can hear all prior questions from others over the years. Misconceptions. Confusion about blindness. Anxiety. Grief. I understand the concerns, especially of the unknown, I faced these questions myself. With doctors, teachers and therapists. And while I received all this kind of knowledge - others in my life did not. These are complicated topics to share/expand upon, which leads me to the journal again. Having a way to communicate with friends/family was a lifeline for me and the kids. I used to scour the internet for success and glimpses of our future. It's much harder to find nowdays. Honesty.

When I stopped journaling? I lost significant social support in life because people could not keep up with the complex medical conditions and I was too tired to be that nonstop relay translator and grief counselor. It's hard to sit there, while dealing with painful topics, living the exhaustion while explaining it over and over. I shut down. I went into fiction writing. An escape.

And this - is the answer to the prompt. Writing fiction was the greatest surprise of my life. And? Even though writing books was the original goal, it wasn't enough. It led to my career now. If someone would have told me back then where it'd all lead and where I'm going to take it? I wouldn't have believed it.