3/13/2025

I had many things to write about but my mind went blank. I'm tired. Physically tired, not mentally - which is why I put some effort into thinking about writing, only to feel the crash. I'm done for the day. It's not quite 7:30PM, I've been up since 5AM and only got 5 hours of sleep. Felt fine most of the day. This is so not healthy though.

I told myself I'm never going to write if it felt like a punishment. Today is close. But I wanted to sketch out a small reminder that I need to make changes to my life. This is one way that I can reshape a habit. To acknowledge it. My mind will automatically take this request and provide a new solution by the time I wake up in the morning. It's pretty cool, to have these gifts. It's very healing and yet informative.

If I find time tomorrow, I'll write out the dream sequences. They'll probably be substantial. I'm awake during my dreams, I tend to remember them. Hard not to when I'm living in them. I can't tell the difference.

All hard to describe which is why abstract art, and all the patterns, elements, dimensions - being able to freestyle paint....well, I wouldn't be able to paint this way if I didn't have complete control over inhibition. Emotional control matters. It provides real clearance.