I don't have much time this morning, not looking forward to work today - thanks phone pop ups. I probably could learn how to disable them but I keep procrastinating. This is one of those days where I woke up at 3AM and struggled to fall back asleep. It's just uncomfortable. These kinds of events do give me plenty of time to work on creative projects. I made a lot of progress on the 'Obscure' series. I know I was debating last night on whether or not I should pursue writing it. The truth is? I can't stop myself from thinking about it and I wouldn't. It's like a burst of much needed comedy that hits me throughout the day and I get visuals.
As a practiced creative fiction writer, it's more like capturing and transcribing the scenes as this mental video exists. If I fall in love with an idea, it sticks around. I drift there whenever I get mentally bored or stimulated. There's a degree of hysteria/reactionary response when being exposed to something absurd. I feel like that is a normal process - for a mind to hold the ability to recognize absurdity and then instantly rectify it with an accurate read of reality - however after looking around society and so many living out their fantasies, that just isn't the case. It's not just politicians either, there's a lot of people who believe consequences do not exist and they are out of touch with reality.
Re-reading that paragraph? That sounds like of mean. I guess I do feel kind of spicy today which is actually a good thing in my world because the majority of my day, I'm dealing with behavior challenges. I have to be able to match or else I'm going to get caught up in emotional storms and not being able to navigate through that only makes my day worse. And well, I can't help or do my job properly if I'm emotionally acting like a toddler - although it's very necessary in my world to relate to them.
Okay, I'm out of time this morning. I get to drive through what sounds like 100mph warm winds this morning. Should be an interesting day.
PM
I only thought I was going to start running today. I forgot how many chores I baked into my shorter Wednesday schedule. It was a good day though. Lots of unusual situations and conversations - including explaining to my boss why I'm no longer an accountant. Unusual because didn't I just write of this topic the other day? If not, I was going to.
I swear sometimes I write things down and then the close conversations happen later. It's like my mind preps me. I feel like I'm caught in a time loop. Happens all the time, enough for me to game it. And that reason? Is why I enjoy psychology more than accounting. But that's difficult to explain to other people. Our minds, under the pressure of PTSD are capable more than we realize. Subjective opinions and life experience matter.
I do still love accounting though. And that analytical part of my brain, it's calm and collected. Sure, it got disrupted with significant PTSD and life pressure but even now as I'm rebuilding my life - I'm tipping more towards organizational psychology as I pick up past pieces of me before the kids. I love management. I'm currently shopping colleges and educational programs. With the hypertensive crisis, so many of plans were disrupted. I'm not in a hurry though. Floating through life is a lot better than drowning.
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